


So Yours

by unscheduledmakeouts



Category: Glee RPF
Genre: M/M, bit of angst, but happy ending yaay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-06
Updated: 2013-06-06
Packaged: 2017-12-14 03:36:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,660
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/832249
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unscheduledmakeouts/pseuds/unscheduledmakeouts
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Chris is upset with Darren. Darren pours his heart out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	So Yours

**Author's Note:**

> More old stuff. This was written by a sleep-deprived brain in the wee hours of the morning, so please keep that in mind. I don’t even know where this came from, I just suddenly had a lot of Crisscolfer feelings and I had to get them out.

The time between Chris slamming and locking his trailer door shut and Darren’s whole body hitting it as he uses it to stop his momentum is just a split second. Darren doesn’t even waste time on stupid things like catching his breath before he starts hammering on the door, hands balled into tight fists.

"Chris! I’m so sorry! Chris, please let me in. You can’t just run away from this! Please!"

"Watch me!" Chris’ voice echoes from inside and it sounds muffled, as if he’s covering his face with his hands. Darren stops hammering, because his fists are starting to hurt anyway, and leans his forehead against the trailer door. Deep breaths. Deep, deep breaths.

"Chris, please," he says again and this time it’s soft, pleading with an undertone of hurt and confusion. There’s no reply and Darren knows that’s a good sign. He hears Chris slowly get up from wherever he’s been sitting and slowly walk towards the door. When the footsteps stop Darren just knows Chris is standing like him, forehead against the door, eyes closed and breath caught in his throat.

"I’m so sorry. Please," he begs again, this time it’s no more than a whisper but he knows Chris can hear him. He knows, because he can hear him breathing on the other side of the door. The other man’s breath is coming just as harsh as his own and he knows, Darren knows that this is the last thing Chris needs right now but he can’t let it go. He just can’t. If he did he would hate himself forever, and Chris would probably wind up hating him too.

He hears the lock click open, hears Chris trying to calm his breath. Darren stands up straight, running a hand through his messy curls as the door slowly swings open and Chris’ eyes immediately meet his. Darren stares back, his chest aching at the sight of the other man. He looks absolutely distraught, jaw clenched tight and arms folded across his chest. But his eyes are fixed on Darren, glasz meeting hazel, no one says a word. Finally Darren can’t stand it anymore, can’t watch the expression on Chris’ face for a second longer without doing anything. He decides to start easy.

"Can I please come in, Chris?"

Chris’ gaze shifts to the floor and he slowly steps aside, allowing Darren into the trailer. Darren shuts the door behind him and turns to face Chris again, deliberately not standing too close to his co-worker, whose eyes are still locked on the floor.

"Chris," Darren begins softly and then he falls silent, because he has no idea where he’s going with this or even where to begin.

"Can you tell me what this is all about?" Chris asks in a small voice. Darren can tell that he really wants to yell at him, his voice is strained and his jaw is still tight. It makes his heart hurt just thinking about it. He makes a move to touch Chris’ arm, mostly out of habit, but he shies away and now Darren’s eyes are actually watering because this is _Chris_ , the amazing guy who he’s used to sharing everything with, standing in front of him and he won’t let Darren touch him. He doesn’t even want Darren to be near him. Darren tries to swallow around the lump in his throat and fails, nearly choking on his words when he speaks again.

"Chris, why… why did you run? Why are you shutting me out? Please, I understand you’re shocked and I’m so, so sorry but don’t do this. Please don’t do this to me, to us, I…"

Suddenly Chris’ eyes are meeting Darren’s again, but his hands are balled up in fists and the colour is rapidly rising on his face.

"You wonder why I ran? There is no us, Darren! There is no us because you’re straight, you’re fucking straight, and you kissed me and I freaked out! I freaked out because a gorgeous, funny, amazing guy just kissed me and I know I can’t have him. That’s why I ran, Darren, is that so hard to understand?!"

Chris is breathing hard and Darren is just standing there, dumbstruck, mouth hanging slightly open. Chris has never, never yelled at him like this before. He barely has time to take in what’s been said because Chris isn’t done yet.

"And what the fuck were you thinking? You know I’m gay, you know it’s different for me to kiss boys, it’s not the same as it is for you and your drinking games with your straight male theater buddies! You know that and yet you did it. How could you? How the fuck could you?!"

Darren has never heard Chris curse this much and frankly it kind of scares him, but he finally seems to be done so Darren quickly tries to regain order in his head to be able to speak before Chris starts again.

"You want to know why I kissed you?"

Darren really struggles to keep his voice calm, even as a billion emotions and thoughts are racing around inside him. Chris seems slightly taken aback by his tone and drops his eyes to the floor once again, lips pressing tightly together. Darren knows this is angry Chris-speak for yes.

\- I kissed you because I wanted to. Because I really, really wanted to, Darren says, his voice breaking a bit at the end. Chris doesn’t move but Darren thinks, or maybe it’s just wishful thinking, that he sees the other man’s jaw relax just a tiny bit. Darren takes one small step closer, holding up his hands to hover over Chris’ arms without touching them.

"Chris, listen to me. In that moment on the parking lot there was nothing I wanted to do more than to kiss you. Kiss you and never, ever stop. You were smiling and laughing and you were so beautiful and just I couldn’t help myself."

Darren barely has the strength to hold himself together anymore, his whole focus is on getting the right words out, making Chris understand what this is about. Chris is still staring at the floor but his jaw is relaxed now and so are his hands. When Darren speaks again his voice is far less steady than before.

"And I kissed you, right then and there, and I swear I’ve never been happier than I was in that moment. I could smell you, feel you, taste you and I never wanted it to end. But then you pushed me away and ran, and maybe it’s stupid but all I could think about was when a kiss was forced on Kurt in the show and god, Chris I feel so terrible but..."

A long, pale finger on his lips silences him. Chris still isn’t meeting his eyes but staring at his left shoulder, which is an improvement. Chris swallows a good three times before he opens his mouth.

"Don’t you ever, ever think that kissing you was like that, he whispers. I… you… when you kissed me I thought I was dreaming. I had to be dreaming. Darren Criss couldn’t be kissing me outside the script, it simply couldn’t be real. But the of course I realized it was real and with that realization came the fact that you’re straight and I can’t have you. So I panicked and I ran."

There are tears in Chris’ eyes now, slowly rolling down his cheeks and Darren acts on impulse. He gently takes Chris face in his hands, pressing his lips to his face, kissing the tears away. Chris closes his eyes and lets out a tiny gasp but stays perfectly still.

"Chris," Darren whispers between kisses. "Chris. Chris. You can have me. Of course you can have me."

He moves to kiss both of Chris’ eyelids before he pulls away, still cradling the other man’s face in his hands. When Chris opens his eyes he sees Darren not three inches away and their gazes immediately lock together. Both of them seem to have forgotten how to breathe.

"You can have me," Darren says again. "I want you, so much. I want to kiss you, hold you, be near you, always. And I don’t give two fucks about what label people put on me because it’s you, Chris. It’s only you."

Darren slowly strokes Chris’ face with his thumb, mapping it with his eyes, taking in the beautiful, breathless man before him. God, he loves him. He loves him so much it hurts. Chris still hasn’t said a word and Darren is both relieved that he hasn’t pushed him away yet and terrified that he soon will.

"I love you."

Darren’s eyes, which had been stuck on Chris’ mouth for a bit, immediately dart up when he hears him speak. It takes a few seconds for him to process what he just heard. His hands almost drop from Chris’ face but he steadies them, trying desperately to remember how to breathe.

"Darren," Chris cokes out and now there are tears again. "I… I love you. I need you. I want to be with you more than anything but I never imagined I could actually have you."

"Chris…"

Darren’s voice is no more than a choked off whisper and he leans their foreheads together, his eyes not leaving Chris’.

"I love you too. You can have me, all of me. I’m yours, Chris, I’m so yours."

"Kiss me," Chris whispers, eyes closed.

Darren doesn’t need to be asked twice. He slowly leans in until he feels the soft press of Chris’ lips against his own. He feels more than hears the sound Chris makes low in his throat, his arms coming up to wrap around Darren’s neck, fingers tangling in his dark curls. The kiss deepens and their tongues meet, heavy breaths turning into gasps and moans as they cling to each other with the intention of never, ever letting go.


End file.
